3 Fun Ways To Deal With Juice Plus Reps!
posted on: September 04, 2016. posted in: Nutrition
We've all been there.
Seen a friend request icon pop up.
Felt a little buzz of excitement.
Thought....
"Oooo! I wonder who that is?! Maybe it's an old school friend?? Or my old school bully, desperate to apologise and tell me all about how great my life is compared to theirs!! Or maybe it's that hunky guy / hot girl I met at Salsa class the other day?! I knew my swing steps were on point!!!"
Then felt that overwhelming sense of disappointment when you discover it's not just a name you don't recognise, but a name to which they've unashamedly added the crappy product they're about to try and bump off on you.
Next you're thinking...
"Listen Jenny JuicePlus... or Hannah Herbalife... or Felicity ForeverLiving... unless you're getting in touch to tell me why you put itching powder in my leotard before gymnastics, or to compliment me on my new and improved step turns... F**K OFF!!"
You have a look through her profile anyway.
Just to check she isn't someone you actually know.
And as expected you see her wall is covered with grainy, badly photoshopped inspirational pictures with statements like...
"Just Eat Real Food!" or "Nature Is Best! Eat Fresh!"
Followed by a link to her special offer on vegetable pills.
You don't recognise her for sh*t. But a little piece of you is doubting. Wondering. What if she is a scout from Strictly Come Dancing, searching for new talent under the cunning disguise of a Juice Plus Rep???!
"Oh go on then."
You accept her friend request.
Countdown from 5... 4... 3... 2... 1....
"Hey! Thank you for accepting my request! I was just wondering if you're interested in earning some extra cash working from home?! Our product has helped thousands of people lose a stone a day, and it cures pretty much every illness there is, which is why doctors swear by it!!"
Pffff.
F**k sake.
Friend deleted. Time wasted.
But look, it doesn't have to be this way.
I'm a veteran of receiving friend requests from reps trying to get me to sell their shonky products, so I've come up with 3 fun ways to deal with them!
________
1. The Russian Assassin.
The moment you see the friend request come in and you know it's a rep, accept it and instantly message them with this...
"I've been waiting for you to make contact. The body has been disposed of. Awaiting further instructions from Moscow. What's your position? Is Vladamir still active?"
Usually this scares them off.
However, don't be surprised if they reply...
"Erm, would you or Vladamir be interested in earning a little extra cash?"
________
2. The Reverse Pitch.
The moment you see the friend request come in and you know it's a rep, beat them to the pitch by messaging them with...
"OMG! I'm so happy you sent me a friend request! I've got this amazing new product you might like to try! It's called Toe Nail Plus and it's made from my fresh toe nail clippings! Would you like me to send you a sample?!"
The only risk is them being genuinely interested.
In which case you could make an absolute killing.
________
3. The Monopoly Millionaire.
Accept their request and let them pitch. You'll have to put up with them telling you all about how their pills are "the essence of 26 fruit and veg" and better than the real thing, but stick with it.
When they've finished the pitch, explain...
"I love the product! But I don't actually have any real money. I do however have lots of monopoly money, which is the essence of 26 different currencies and better than the real thing. Will that do?"
When they respond that they only accept real cash, delight in telling them...
"Well I only accept real vegetables!!"
Liam
p.s. Here's an example of The Monopoly Millionaire :)
