Slimming World - Stop Hurting Nutrition Fairies!

posted on: October 04, 2016. posted in: Weight loss, Nutrition

[Warning: This is one of our famous sweary rants. Please take the language with a pinch of salt, or if you're easily offended, look away now.]

We've had a request from Helen...

"Can you summarise what exactly it is you disagree with? I tried to read your post but it was too long and ranting! I am interested in what you think is so wrong with what SW advocate."

Hi Helen

I'll be honest, I'm not great at summaries.

I'll try...

I've trained 100s of Slimming World members.

Session one is almost always the same.

They hand me their first food diary.

And it's a beige, brown, binge eating nightmare.

Here's a little taste of how it goes...


Me: "I see you eat a big bowl of rice krispies and 1 tbsp sweetener for breakfast every day. Have you thought about having some natural fats and proteins?"

Client: "Fat? Oh no Slimming World told me to avoid fat. I always choose low-fat products and eat my rice krispies with skimmed milk."


A nutrition fairy was just bent over...

And had its arse spanked with a paddle!


Me: "You're eating three hifi bars a day, why not swap those processed cereal bars for some fresh fruit?"

Client: "Well Slimming World told me hifi bars are a healthy source of fibre. And they're a healthy extra b."


Three nutrition fairies...

Squished with a sledge hammer!


Me: "Your lunch for three days of the week was a mugshot, which isn't actually food. We need more real food nutrition."

Client: "Mugshots are very low-calorie, so surely they're going to help me lose weight faster?"


A family of nutrition fairies...

Taken out by a f**king beige bomb!


Me: "You stopped tracking on Thursday night? Don't worry, you can be completely honest with me."

Client: "Well it was my weigh in at Slimming World. I lost a pound so I had a takeaway and chocolate to celebrate."


A nutrition fairy just got laid on the pavement...

And f**king steam rolled!!


Me: "You're eating an awful lot of curly wurlies, chocolate bars aren't your best option if fat loss is your goal."

Client: "Curly wurlies are a recommended treat on Slimming World because they have less syns than other chocolate."

BAM! BAM!! BAM!!! BAM!!!! BAM!!!!!

A nutrition fairy just got pinned to a wall...

And kicked in the plums...

Five f**king times!!


Me: "You had five slices of 'scan bran cheesecake' over the weekend, what exactly is it?"

Client: "It's a Slimming World cheesecake made of mullerlights, quark, scan bran and sweetener. It's only 2 syns per slice."


A nutrition fairy just dragged its balls

Over a mile of broken glass...

Then cried salty tears into its lap.


Ok, I'm taking the p*ss a bit.

But the sad truth?

I've met 100s of obese people who eat like that...

And have learned to eat like that at Slimming World.

You can call me a liar.

You can say it isn't true.

But there are followers of Rebelfit...

Who I've NEVER MET...

Who'll back me up.


[This post is not aimed at any individual members of slimming clubs. Instead it is designed to highlight the dangers of slimming companies and how they drive food addiction and obesity. If you'd like to learn more about how we can help, please feel free to email us for a non-judgemental conversation about your weight and nutrition.]

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