If You Could See The Panic At Slimming World HQ!
posted on: March 21, 2017. posted in: Weight loss, Nutrition
"OMG! The rebels are coming! They're planning to hold a protest outside, demanding to know the science behind syns!"
"It's ok! Just tell them the science behind syns, they'll go away!"
"Are you mad??! There is no science behind syns, we completely made them up remember?!"
"Oh yeah. I forgot about that." 😞
"So what do we do?! They turn up here with banners and chants and the press, demanding to know the nutritional basis of syns, and there is none!! What do we tell them?!"
"I know! Get our head nutritionist Dr Jacquie Lavin to answer!! She'll know!!"
"She doesn't have a bloody clue!! When the rebels asked her on Twitter she blocked them and made her account private!"
"Erm... errr... oh! What about our standard response, the one that's on our website... 'Our wonderful Syns team take into account a number of different things when working out the Syn value of foods so although it's not a formula as such, there is some method behind each and every Syn value :)'... how about that??!"
*holds head in hands*
"That's hardly a scientific explanation!! We're funded by the British tax payer and referred to by the NHS. We are responsible for the fight against obesity in this country. We claim to be experts in slimming and nutrition. Our nutrition department is headed up by Dr Jacquie Lavin who has a PhD. We really ought to have a better answer than 'it's not a formula as such, there is some method'...!!!"
"Oh crap. We're going to look so stupid!" 😞
"Stupid?! It's not stupid I'm worried about! I can cope with stupid!! It's the country, our members and the British government realising we made up 'syns' and 'free foods' and 'healthy extras' to con people into buying our own brand of processed foods, or brands that pay us to be ranked as free or low syn!"
"Oh you mean like muller lights, who we award a low syn value because they're paying us to be ranked low in syns?!"
"Yes!!!"
"Oh and like Asda's ready meals? We won't call them 'free' because we want people to buy our own ready meals instead?!"
"Yes!!!"
"Oh and like Porky Lights? When we fabricated false evidence about their fat content to claim they are higher in 'syns', so that our members only buy our 'low syn' sausages?!"
"Yes!!!"
"You're right! We're going to look like right con artists!! Because, let's face it, WE ARE!!!... Erm... what are you doing..."
*throws stuff in suitcase*
"I'm leaving for Outer Mongolia! Apparently Dr Jacquie Lavin has already set up camp there... bye!!!"
Liam
p.s. If you are a member of Slimming World, why not ask your consultant, or even better Slimming World HQ, what the nutritional basis of a syn is. And don't let them fob you off with some standard response like "we've done the work for you", ask to see the science!
