Green Tea

​Let's Set The Record Straight On Tea

posted on: January 06, 2017. posted in: Weight loss, Nutrition

[warning: this is one of those sweary rebelfit rants! please take with a pinch of salt, or look away if you're easily offended!] 

I've had enough of hearing claims that tea can...

"Boost Your Metabolism!"

"Help You Blast Fat!"

"Strip Stubborn Belly Fat!"

It's. F**king. Tea.

And tea... is for drinking... with biscuits.

Lots of f**king biscuits.

Preferably chocolatey ones.

Dunked repeatedly... until they are a smooth... melty consistency... that disintegrates on your tongue.

If I want a cup of tea, I will enjoy it sat on my arse, whilst burning as few calories as possible, and... if luck be on my side and biscuits be within reaching distance... whilst eating as many calories as possible.

Tea is for chilling.

Tea is for relaxing.

Tea is for dunking and scoffing...

Whilst ensuring my metabolism is on shut down.

If I want to boost my metabolism, blast fat, or strip off stubborn belly fat, the last thing I reach for is a f**king brew.

No, I don't shout...

"Put the kettle on babes, I need to shift my gut."

I get up off my arse...

And I f**king MOVE IT.

That's how you boost your metabolism.

Movement. Fatigue. Training. Intensity. 

Stimulating adaptations that force the body to burn fat, that make the body believe it needs to burn fat.

Not sipping, and dreaming and hoping.

When I explain this harsh truth to my clients they protest...

"But Liam, I'm not talking about normal tea! I don't drink normal tea! I'm talking about GREEN TEA!"

Ah yes.

That's right.

If you drink tea that's the same colour as salad, but 5000 times more f**king expensive, and that has some poxy name like 'Olangy-longy-pongy-wongy tea', it suddenly assumes some magical, arse shrinking properties.

And the more expensive it is?

The more reassured you are it will burn fat.

And the more disgusting it tastes?

The more reassured you are it will burn fat.

Well listen up Sippy McDreamy Lips.

Save yourself the pain and misery of sipping your way through that f**king swamp water...

It's all. A massive. CON.

You'll burn more calories by doing squats in between sips of normal tea, than you ever will just drinking green tea.

But why ruin a good cup of tea?


[If you'd like to learn more about how we can help, please feel free to email us for a non-judgemental conversation about your weight and nutrition.]

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