What Could Be Worse Than Clean Eaters?

posted on: January 06, 2017. posted in:

[warning: this is one contains some mild swearing!] 

"Slimming World??"


"Weight Watchers???"


"Got to be Juice Plus????"

Nope, not even them.

There is a new food movement that makes all the above, and even the arse achingly annoying clean eating brigade, look like experts in the field of nutrition.

"Who?? Who???!"

The Protein Twats.

We've all met one.

We've all been bored to tears by one.

We've probably been knocked out by one of their farts.

And now there is an army of food companies, who cater specifically for the needs of The Protein Twat.

The Protein Twat has no interest in nutrition at all, other than their very public, and very annoying quest to get as much protein into their diet as possible.

Do they know what protein is?

F**k no.

Do they care?

F**k no.

They just assume protein isn't fat, and it isn't carbs, and is therefore some magical nutrition substance they need to overload on.

The more grams, the better.

Do they realise that meat and fish and eggs contain protein?


Do they realise that beans, and nuts and seeds contain protein?


Do they realise that even fruit and veg contains protein?


Do they take a simple whey protein or pea protein supplement?


That would be far too simple.

The Protein Twat only ingests protein that comes in the form of junk food, that has protein added to it...

By a food company...

Charging 15 times the normal f**king price.

The Protein Twat enjoys...

Protein Weetabix for breakfast.

Protein snickers for mid-morning.

Protein bread sandwich for lunch.

Protein cocoa balls for mid-afternoon.

Protein pizza for dinner...

Followed by protein cheesecake...

Washed down with... you guessed it...

A protein drink.

And when their food bill comes in at around £100 a day, they wonder why they can't afford a plumber to unblock their toilet after the 15 tonne protein turd they dropped later that evening.

And if you told them that turd contained protein?

They'd probably eat it too.

And let you know about it on Instagram...

#proteinpower #proteinsnack #proteinpoop

Sure, there's a place for protein supplementation... in sport, in performance, in bodybuilding and strength training...

But the moment you sacrifice real food nutrition in a quest to get junk protein foods into your diet?

You're not just a twat.

You're a Protein Twat.


[If you'd like to learn more about how we can help, please feel free to email us for a non-judgemental conversation about your nutrition.]

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