Beige Carbs

A Lesson For Veteran Dieters On Nutrition

posted on: January 06, 2017. posted in: Weight loss, Nutrition

[warning: this classic rebelfit rant contains some mild swearing and an aggressive tone, so please take it with a pinch of salt or look away now if you're easily offended!]

Every day.

Three times a day.

For the last 10 years.

My phone rings and I answer it to a softly spoken very nervous, prospective female client.

"Hi, is that Liam the personal trainer? I was given your number and I was wondering if you can help me lose weight?"

I try my best to put them at ease. Then they continue...

"I've done all the diets.... Weight Watchers.... Lighterlife... SlimFast... Slimming World... but the weight just isn't budging. I'm finding it really hard to control what I eat and I just don't know what to do!"

It would be no exaggeration to say I've heard this well over 500 times from people who would then become my clients.

In their first session we go through a consultation.

I assess their weight. I assess their bodyfat percentage. I assess their body shape. And I ask them to give me a breakdown of their eating habits and daily nutrition.

Confidently they explain to me the exact... same... diet.

"Well, I eat really healthily so I can't understand why I'm not losing weight. Here's what I normally eat on a good day.

I have my WEETABIX for breakfast.

Usually a low-fat CEREAL BAR for a snack.

A WHOLEMEAL sandwich for my lunch.

Then some PASTA with meat and veg for dinner."

Now.

Because I can't train and re-educate every single veteran dieter out there, I figured I'd save us some time and share this with you all here and now for free.

Weetabix. Cereal Bars. Wholemeal Bread. Pasta.

These foods are PROCESSED GRAINS.

These foods are PACKED WITH ENERGY.

These foods are MASS GAINING FOODS.

If a client comes to me requesting weight gain and/or muscle gain... maybe for rugby... maybe for bodybuilding... maybe just to look buff...

These are foods I insist they ADD to their diet.

(portion controlled of course.)

The HUGE energy loads contained within them help create the necessary caloric surplus and elevated insulin levels required to stimulate ANABOLISM (growth) and increased body mass.

So we have a bit of a problem in this country. In fact, we have a massive problem in this country.

Millions of people... educated by slimming clubs...

To eat like...

F**KING RUGBY PLAYERS.

Minus the gruelling... energy sapping... high-intensity training of a rugby player.

Of course, if you're bigger than a rugby player, which many new slimming club members are, then you will lose weight eating that way.

But there will come an inevitable point where you reach between 35 to 40% bodyfat (about a size 14 to 16, and still overweight) where your weight loss hits a brick wall.

That brick wall is...

PROCESSED. MAN-MADE. BEIGE CARBS.

Just like...

Weetabix. Cereal Bars. Wholemeal Bread. Pasta.

Little beige bricks of arse expanding energy.

But of course...

How can you live without your CARBS? Surely you'll waste away if you cut them out?

Well here's a little secret... between you and me... and the rest of the nutritionally misinformed.... slimming club population.

Come in close...

I'll whisper....

FRUIT AND VEGETABLES ARE F**KING CARBS!!!

They are the ONLY carbs you need... or should be eating... unless you are a rugby playing... body building... mass gaining athlete.

Are you a rugby playing, body building, mass gaining athlete?

No?

Oh you do Zumba?

I'm afraid that doesn't quite cut it. You'd need to Zumba wiggle your arse to Pluto and back before you even touch the calories in those grains.

So here's a little nutrition tip to take away with you.

Repeat after me...

"GRAINS ARE FOR GAINS BABY!"

Load up your nutrition with grains if you want to get BIGGER, not smaller.

So if fat loss is your goal... which for all slimming club members it is... treat processed, beige, bricky carbs like occasional treats.

Enjoy them a fair few times a week...

Not every f**king meal!!

Liam

[This post is not aimed at any individual members of slimming clubs. Instead it is designed to highlight the dangers of slimming companies and how they drive food addiction and obesity. If you'd like to learn more about how we can help, please feel free to email us for a non-judgemental conversation about your nutrition.]

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